I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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