xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
