If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
