At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
