alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
