R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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