If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
