I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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