im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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