i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
