Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
MIDGETS
????
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
