That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
