5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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