There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
