imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
