i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
