on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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