And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
