ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Randomize
