i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
