i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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