Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
