just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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