So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
