Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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