you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
