Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
