"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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