I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
People with herpes should wear stickers.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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