SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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