I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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