What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
