My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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