how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
