Who did Billy Mays play for?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
