im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
