i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
