My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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