sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
