I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
