Where did you get a picture of my penis
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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