okay pat passed out under dana's car
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
