No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
