I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
