We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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