Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
