Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
