Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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