Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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