I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
