went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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