She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
