i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
